For those that don't know, for those that even visit here,

I am back in Canada again and have been for just over a month now.

 

My departure was kind of sudden, however not surprising considering the year that I had.

I didn't leave on bad terms, far from it actually.

My heart was kicking and screaming at the airport waiting for the plane to rip me away from a place that I have grown to fondly refer to as 'home'.

It wasn't wise of me to ignore my departure date because of denial. It wasn't until my second plane landed in Toronto that it hit me

and the sadness that overwhelmed me continued to be a blanket for a few weeks after that.

 

And God let me grieve for a period of time.

He let me gripe about the uncertainty of my immediate future until I had vented enough to pull myself together and snap back into reality.

I was home.

My other home, like I said I have many homes.

However, my arrival was not accidental nor was it a punishment but it was God's way of bringing me to a place physically so that I get get to a new place spiritually while He dealt with me emotionally.

And I am thankful.

 

The last year has been challenging, but a glorious challenge. Even on the bad days, working for the Lord in Kenya makes me feel like I'm a puzzle piece that has found it's place. I am connected, I am stable, I am locked into place and God has created this amazing picture of the work He is doing, and has allowed me to be in that picture.

It's exhilarating, frustrating, enlightening and life giving all at the same time.

The good days far outweigh the bad and the smiles of people when they experience His greatness is my reward.

 

Even my challenges were trumped by God's grace and He saw me through every bump and snag along the way.

But then it was time to come back to the west... and I weakly obliged only to rediscover that His plans aren't spur of the moment alterations based on situation or circumstance.

They are divine steps along a path of togetherness that you can only experience if you agree to wear the shoes that God has made for you.

Who wouldn't want to walk with their creator? The one who knows all your inner secrets and exactly why you are the way you are.

Who wouldn't want to walk with the one who loves you despite all of that and cares about you so much that He would go as far as to give up His own life so your life would be saved.

It shames me to think that so often I struggle to say yes. That occasionally I will complain about these shoes he made me.

Imply that they are uncomfortable or that they aren't the right colour or that they are too big.... or worse, that they are too small.

 

Bottom line is that I know that I am home for a reason. And God has already been revealing that to me.

I love Kenya and I miss it dearly. The desire of my heart is to rejoin in what God is continuing to do in that country.

But I am choosing to wear these shoes. These shoes that He made specially for me. The ones that brought me to Canada and the ones that will take me back to Kenya. And I will wear them proudly and walk tall on this path because togetherness with God is my desire.

A desire that burns in me, sometimes more brightly than other times but it burns nevertheless and nothing, not even all of those fake beautiful shoes that are meant to distract me, will put this fire out.

 

My fire burns for Christ as His first burned for me.

I will praise Him all the days of my life.